Before you read the rest of this post, please note that I am incredibly bored….
Oh Oreo. I love you. You are my FAVORITE store-bought cookie. I know you’re no match for any home-baked cookie (except those cookies with raisins – blech – who would EAT those?) You’re pretty close to being Heaven on Earth to me, Oreo Cookie….
Most people like to eat you by taking you apart and eating the icing first. I remember my sister would eat you this way and then put your chocolate parts back in the package for us to find later. DISGRACEFUL. She would never admit she did this to you, Oreo, (like she wouldn’t admit she ate all of the Christmas cookies I baked one year), but it was obvious it was HER that abused you. Grossed me out big time. I’m sorry she did that to you.
But not me. I don’t eat you that way. I also don’t eat you, Oreo, by dipping you in milk or even in one big bite. No, I’m different from the mainstream crowd.
How do I eat you Oreo? Two different ways….
2. Crushed up in a glass of milk
Yup. I’m the one who, when bringing you home, Oreo cookie, will open the package and let you go stale. There’s nothing better than a soft Oreo, so I’ll expose you to the Michigan humidity for a while and oh my word, what a delicious cookie you’ll be!
Now, if I’m too impatient to wait for you to go stale (and being related to my husband, I often need to hide you and your Oreo friends as you’ll only last a few hours if he’s home), I’ll either buy two packs of you and hide one (in my bedroom closet – no one in this house is brave enough to go there), OR I’ll take 5 or 6 (or 7, 8, 9) of you at a time, toss y’all in a tall glass and pour ice cold skim milk over you. I’ll crush you with a spoon and then eat. Yum.
If I eat this way, you, Oreo cookie, can’t be stale, you must be crisp as there’s no fun in eating a soggy Oreo with milk. Must be crunchy and the milk must be ice cold and skim. My sister thinks this is gross. I say she needs to give it a try and she’ll realize she loves it (Green Eggs and Ham anyone?)
(And I wonder why the Wii Fit is telling me I’m not losing weight…)
For what it’s worth, I can’t stomach Cookies-N-Cream icecream, but I do love you – my Oreo – crushed in milk. Don’t ask me why. I will eat you in an Oreo Blizzard from DQ, but only if it’s made with chocolate icecream with fresh Oreos only – not those cheap knockoff Hydrox cookies. Blech. Blech. Blech.
Yeah, I know this post is probably confirming that little thought you had in your head about me being a little odd, but that’s okay. Just give me an Oreo the next time you see me and I’ll act normal for a while.
Oh, oh, oh….Ice-Cold Milk and an Oreo Cookie….