We have a four year old son, we call him “B” and he is just a joy. His primary role in the family is to entertain me because he says the oddest things. Here’s just a sample of “B”isms that you’ll hear around our house…

In the bathroom:

B (very excited): “Daddy, Daddy – guess what?”
Daddy: “What B?” (getting excited too).
B (very excited and happy): “I peed in my eye!! Cool, huh? “

At Prayertime before bed:

Mommy: “B, who do you want to pray for?”

B: “Jesus”
Mommy: “No honey, we pray TO Jesus. Who do you want to pray FOR?”

B: “Jesus”

Mommy: “Okay, Jesus it is.”

When Daddy gets home from work:
B: “Don’t kiss my mommy! She’s my mommy.”
Daddy: “But she’s my wife and I love her.”
B: “She’s not your Mommy.” (Very serious…) “Nobody touches my Mommy.”

While Mommy’s cooking dinner:

B (singing): “The sheep don’t like it . BAAAA. Rock the catbox. Rock the catbox.”


B: “Mommy – you have a fat butt.”

Mommy: “Gee thanks B.”

B: “You’re welcome.”


B (singing): “I never drive. I never race. I never drive. I never race. But sometimes I do drive. Nobody beats Kurt Wilde. Shot through the heart and you’re to blame darlin’ you give love a bad name.”


B: “You’re not pretty like Laura.” (She’s our babysitter).

Mommy: “Gee thanks B.”

B: “You’re welcome.”

When it’s time to put the toys away and get ready for bed:

Mommy: “B – why don’t you pick up your cars and we’ll go get ready for bed.”

B: “That’s it. You want to throw me down the stairs!”

Mommy: “No, I asked you to put away your toys.”

B: “No, you want to throw me down the stairs. I’m just gonna throw my toys away.”

Mommy: “Okay then.”

B’s shocked and then picks up his toys.

At church right after Communion:

B: Mommy, can I have some chips too?

Overheard in the Car:

B: “Pick a number between 10 and 8.”

J: “9”

B: “That’s not it.”


B: “God is so nice that he made everything in the world. He made that cloud. He made that tree. He made you and me, the bugs, the grass, the buildings, the airplanes, (on and on) and he made that dog peeing over there.”

Overheard in the Living Room :

B: “Mississippi me.”

M: “Huh?”

B: “Mississippi me.”

M and Mommy: “Huh?”

B: “You know. One Mississippi, two Mississippi.”

After an exhausting day at the mall:

Preface: let’s say that B’s full name is B Joseph Smith.

Daddy: “B – your behavior at the mall was very bad today. You need to go apologize to your Mommy.”

B: “You think I’m stupid.”

Daddy: “Nobody here has said that you’re stupid. We love you, but you need to apologize to your mom and stupid is a bad word. We don’t say stupid in this house.”

B: “That’s it. I’m stupid.”

Daddy: “You’re not stupid. Nobody in this family is stupid. Mommy’s not stupid. Daddy’s not stupid. J and M aren’t stupid. You’re not stupid. Nobody in the Smith family is stupid. What’s your last name?”

B: “Joseph.”

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3 Responses to "B"isms.

  1. Lee says:

    Oh my, you do have your hands full. How can you possibly keep a straight face?

  2. Cyn M says:

    Now, THAT little boy would have me rolling all the time!!!I have one of my own that has his own “isms”…..maybe I should post them someday!!!

  3. agent713 says:

    Bwahahaha!!!I love that you took the time to write these down too. I love little boys :wub:

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